The life of a table

For 13 years we have had the same kitchen table. Here is her story...

I was born Ethan Allen and sold around 1970. In 1998 in Kansas City, a nice couple who no longer liked my look, listed me in the classifieds. I was purchased by Scott and Lisa, these cute young newlyweds, who took me home and jammed me into some apartment. I came with 4 chairs, a bench and a 2-piece hutch. We were so happy together.

I loved the sun and so did that cute newlywed couple so we moved to the beach. They had a cute baby. She loved me too. She would bang on me but did not cause any real damage. I had no idea what was to come.

In 2001 I moved to St. Louis and the top part of my hutch got put in storage. It was just too big for their little house. My cute newlywed couple now had 3 babies. I loved them. They used me for every birthday party. In 2005 they moved to a house with a breakfast nook! How dare they... because this meant my chairs were too big and they, along with my hutch had to be sold! By 2005 the 3 babies were getting bigger and they were stronger and my pine wood is soft. The forks and knives began digging into me and the Sharpies autographed me several times with names as sweet as "EMMA". My finish was starting to bubble and peel. I was not looking so good. I feared they were going to get rid of me.

That cute newlywed couple has grown up too. They no longer like to spend money on expensive furniture. They realize that it will all get a knick sooner or later and that resale is the way to go! They took a trip to look at newer tables and that is when the really wise Scott said to his wife, "You like that table? It looks just like our table." And at that very point my life was saved! I was unaware of the microderm abrasion I was about to undergo, but I can't get enough of myself now!

Scott sanded me down and Lisa beat me with a chain and poked nails into me. Ouch!

They took my legs off. I was humiliated and sent to the garage. I had thought what the kids had put me through with their forks was hard, but this was horrible. Lisa stained me with a gel stain and put 4 coats of poly on me and look at me now...


I love my new look! Do you? I am about to get moved again and Lisa's grandparents just bought me 6 new black chairs. I get to keep my bench although there is talk she might be getting some work done too. I love my family and I am so glad they are going to hold on to me a bit longer.